Wisdom I gain growing older

When I revived my blog I was trying to come up with a new name for it. Way back when we had our son Zach there was this song that David used to sing for us and the chorus was "I'll treasure these years, growing older!" A few years back I was talking with him about the song and he started singing it....what a better way to remember it forever that to record it. Click the link and I hope it will take you to the song.

Growing Older sung by David

When our children were young, David and I were not those young 20 year old parents. We got married a little later in life and it was not until I was 1 1/2 months short of turning 36 when Zach was born, 37 1/2 when our twins were born and almost 39 1/2 when Josiah was born (another story for another time). We are now both in our 50's quickly approaching our 60's with young adult kids. I really appreciate the fact that we were both older when we had children for the first time. For me, I was able to experience life in the work force and when the kids came I was given the opportunity to be that stay at home Mom. And what an opportunity that has been. I truly believe that our kids have been able to benefit from me being a stay at home Mom.

The years that I have had with my kids being that stay at home Mom are years that I will treasure forever. And now as I grow older and my kids grow older I feel we have moved into yet another stage in this crazy life. New adventures, new experiences, new stages....growing older.

Today I was feeling a little lost. It actually started last night as I lay in bed alone because David was working a night shift. I hate when my mind goes into overdrive when I am in bed. Sleep never comes.

With covid I am finding that I have become very much a loner. The two primary people I am around are David and Naomi - that's it. I used to go for coffee with friends, go out errand running, stuff like that. Now going out to coffee with friends does not happen. Each one I used to do coffee with has their own little bubble of people they hang out with. Naomi and I do coffee together quite regularly which is great, but it's not the same.

I am also finding that I am needed far less than I was when my kids were younger. Very normal! I used to be that person who my son used to call for advise. We used to have some heartfelt chats but now he has a wife he confides in (which is what he is absolutely supposed to do) and a new family who he spends a lot of time with (okay he lives in the same house so of course he spends a lot of time with them). The newlyweds may come over for a meal from time to time and I am thankful for that. It's just a little rough coming to that realization that you are not really needed anymore by someone you raised and had around for so long (more or less 22 years). It's all good though. It's all part of that growing older!

My daughters are also very independent. Rebekah is out working away at camp this summer. I hear from her now and then. Mostly when she needs some advice on her broken finger or on how to cook beans. She's managed to get herself into her fourth year of university, no help from me and doing it with honours. She's one smart cookie like her brother and sister. but she knows I'm here for her when she does need me. Like Rebekah, Naomi is also in college but she had taken a bit of a gap year so she is not as far along as Rebekah. I am so thankful to have Naomi around this summer. She's learning to drive so we are getting out a couple of times a week. She's also able to spend time with friends, going out for coffee, to the movies, out to dinner. It's nice she has a close bubble of friends.

Life will continue to change, I will continue to grow older and I hope I will continue to grow wiser. I know my kids will continue to need me, just not in the same capacity that they used to need me and I will learn to adapt. I will come up with new hobbies (like this blog writing) to help pass the time.

Blessings

Sometimes in days like these (covid days) I find it very hard to find the blessings of the Lord. Of course His blessings are all around me. I have a husband who loves me unconditionally, works very hard for our family which allows me to be home to take care of things here. I have 3 kids who all love the Lord with all their hearts and have chosen to follow Him. These three blessings love me for who I am and accept me, loving me unconditionally too. We have a roof over our heads, food in the cupboard, fridge and freezer, warmth when we need it and cool air when it's hot out. I am truly blessed.

A blessing is something we can receive AND it is also something we can give. Have you ever thought about how you are a blessing to others? That raised the question in my mind; Am I living out my life seeking out blessings or am I living my life to be a blessing to others? In other words, what is my motivation? Do I help other people because I hope to be blessed through my actions? Or do I help people, regardless of the consequences to me, because I know it's the right thing to do?

One of the things I have been blessed by during the season is how many awesome church services there are online. Our church has been doing a pretty good job but what I miss is the worship time. I love a service with lots of praise and worship. I have found a few churches with an awesome time of praise and worship. Every Saturday I take part in a church service out of Huntington Beach California from a church called Mariner. I honestly don't know how I came across this particular church but I really attribute it to God directing me. There are three awesome hosts for the services and over the past 4 months I have gotten to know these individuals. They truly are a blessing to me and in turn I have shared with others what this ministry provides so they too can be blessed.

When I first thought about writing on blessings, my thought was to share all the blessings I had received. Then I started thinking, have I blessed others along the way? It would be so one sided if I am only receiving blessings and I am not returning this blessing. Blessings to others don't have to be big and extravagant. Taking an elderly person grocery shopping, taking a learning driver out to drive, or sharing what you have left over from dinner with a neighbour. Sharing your favourite smoked gouda with your son and his new wife, buying special Dutch licorice from your favourite Dutch store on Vancouver Island and having them send it directly to your daughter who is away at camp all summer and including some King peppermints in there for the director of the camp. I guess I am blessing others. And who knows, maybe what you have been reading here in my blogs that I have been posting has also been a blessing to you?

Today I will let myself not be overwhelmed with this season of covid that we are experiencing right now, but rather be overwhelmed with the goodness of God so I can overflow with the goodness of God to others. I will be experienced as a blessing by others to the extent I have counted blessings and first experience myself as blessed! The greatest gift God graces a soul with is His own presence!

I leave you now with this blessing from Numbers 6:24/25 (the same verse as in the song)

The Lord bless you and keep you

The Lord make his face shine upon you and

be gracious to you

the Lord life up his countenance upon you

and give you peace!

Amen!

Side note:

A few of the church services I have been blessed with this Covid season are listed below. I am going to try and link them so that if you click on them it will take you right to their website. Be blessed!

Mariner Church HB Pastor Kyle Costello grew up as a mormon and after some soul searching became a Christian and wow can he preach!

Harvest Church Parry Sound (this link is to their facebook group as they do facebook live church.) Chris Somers is the worship leader. I've enjoyed his singing for quite some time now. The Pastor is Godfrey Wilkinson and is also an awesome preacher

Eagles Landing First Baptist Church This is the church where Mark Hall from Casting Crowns worships and leads worship from time to time. Pastor Trea Brinson is new to the church and the times I have heard him preach I've found the message solid!

Sharing a secret

Our family loves my lasagna! My Mom loves my lasagna! Our old neighbour Brian loves my lasagna! Initially I was going to bake a few lasagna's for the rehearsal dinner but then covid interfered and it was not going to work to make.

I first started making lasagna after I had received the church cookbook from the church I attended as a kid, for a bridal shower gift. In the book someone had posted a recipe which over the years I have perfected.

Often I would have left over spaghetti sauce from when I made it for the family. I would freeze it and when I figured I had enough to make a batch of lasagna, I'd make it. In my spaghetti sauce I would

Brown 1 lb extra lean ground beef
add 1 T minced garlic
1/2 finely diced onion
salt
pepper
some sort of Catelli Pasta sauce (don't judge me, I was a busy mom of young kids so I used sauce from a jar rather than make my own)

Once that was cooked I prepare my "filling". Mix these all together in a bowl

500ml 2% cottage cheese
1 pkg frozen spinach
1 egg
1 cup parm. cheese

Now you are ready to construct. You take out your rectangle cake pan, like the one in the picture. You take a scoop of the sauce and put it on the bottom of the baking dish. It does not need to be thick, it just needs to sort of sparingly cover the bottom. Next put down 3 raw lasagna noodles, now another layer of meat sauce, this one a little thicker to cover all the noodles. Next put down another 3 more lasagna noodles. Now is the time for the cottage cheese/spinach mixture. Layer that on those noodles. One last layer of noodles and now the remaining sauce. Now top your lasagna with shredded Motza cheese.

Tent your lasagna with foil. Try hard not to have the foil touching the lasagna. (Spraying it with pam helps it from sticking. ) Put it into a preheated oven of 375. Bake for 50 minutes, remove it from the oven, take off the foil tent and put the lasagna back into the oven for 10 more minutes.

The trick to being able to cut your lasagna is letting it rest before you cut it. I let mine rest for about 10 minutes. During this time I put garlic bread into the oven and prepare a salad.

And voila:

How to hold a Socially Distance Covid 19 wedding successfully! The Wedding of Zachariah and Cassidy (Part 2)

The Wedding of Zachariah and Cassidy

COVID 19 changed so many things for this couple. Their numbers had to go from 150 guests to a select few 50. Then there was this whole thing of social distancing, and wearing masks. Would the wedding even happen? Who gets to come and who doesn't? And if that was not enough to think about, now we were also being told to self isolate and stay home and if you were going to get out, you needed to walk 6 feet apart and you were better off being outside than inside. We learned about social bubbles and Zach was in our social family bubble with Cass being in her social family bubble. This proved to be too much for this couple in love. By mid April Zach moved out of our home and into a tent in Cassidy's Dad's work warehouse. He needed to be there for 14 days before he could finally kiss his love and give her a hug. This happened just on time for her 25th birthday.

The wedding was fast approaching. Typically with a wedding upcoming you have showers for the bride but with this COVID thing we were not permitted these sort of things. Her Mom threw her a Zoom shower with a number of friends and relatives and we threw her a Social Distant Tailgate Party, which was a smashing success! The weather was awesome and we had about 35 ladies show up.

All the snacks needed to be prepackaged which was a little more work but so worth it. The couple was spoiled.

The wedding day was fast approaching. Zach's best man was coming all the way from Germany for the wedding so he had to be sure he was there early enough to self isolate for 14 days. Zach and Cass were very DIY with the wedding and had many little projects that needed doing. Tables for the bridal party needed making from scratch, signs needed to be made, a caterer who could supply a nice individually packaged meal needed to be found and the list went on.

Rehearsal day was beautiful. The sun shone. Things were getting set up for the big day. My girls and I needed to supply the rehearsal dinner which was a challenge. We had to come up with something portable. Wraps with Salad was a hit. We were busy packing everything up and as I sat waiting for my girls to load things in the car, I saw in the field beside the driveway, this farmer driving his tractor around spraying this brown substance on his field. It only took a matter of seconds to know what it was that he was spraying. I think he had seen that there was something happening like the setup of a wedding and he drove off. Zach and his bestman went off to hunt him down however to no avail. (I later learned that he had gone over on the morning of the wedding to ask him to please hold off with spraying the field for the rest. The farmer obliged and told Zach that he could just shoot him a text when he wanted the wedding to end and he's be right over to finish spraying) Thank you Farmer Severinski!

The morning of the wedding day was overcast and gloomy looking. At least this would be good for pictures as no one would be squinting. Zach's grooms people all showed up here at the house and headed off to breakfast together. The bride and her bridesmaids all gathered at her parents place to get themselves ready. There is so much more getting ready for the women folk than there is for the guys.

Around noon the boys and Miki (Miki is one of the grooms people. Zach and Miki co-lead a missions trip to Africa the previous year and he wanted her to be part of his wedding party) all showed up back at the house to have lunch and get ready. Unlike the mother of the bride, the mother of the groom does not have much to do to help the grooms people other than maybe some quick ironing of rolled into a ball dress pants and shirts. Zach looked dapper with that handsome smile and he was off with his group.

In the meantime Cassidy was all ready with her girls and they were off to the nieghbours garden for a photoshoot.

Zachariah and Cassidy decided to do a "first look". This is where the bride more or less sneaks up behind the groom, he turns around and gets his first look. This way they can get photos done before the wedding ceremony.

Meanwhile back at the venue, people were scrambling to whip down the chairs from the drizzle that was now falling. This couple had really thought everything out with their wedding. Knowing that the great Dr. Bonnie Henry kept saying that we needed to keep socially distant, they were to oblige. Every chair was methodically placed, exactly 6 feet apart with people 6 feet behind you.

The guests began arriving, exactly 50, not one more, not one less. Pastor Jeff Kuhn announced for everyone to be seated and the service started. Zach walked me to my seat and then he walked Cassidy's Mom to her seat. Zach then took his place by the beautiful arch he and Cassidy made and waited. First each grooms person came in, one at a time, slowly, methodically. Then each bridesmaid came in and took their place 6 feet in front of the grooms people. The music changed and in came Cassidy on the arm of her Dad. What a proud Papa he was, beaming from ear to ear! Cassidy's Mom joined them up front when the pastor asked who was giving away this woman. As her parents returned to their seats, Cassidy's Grandpa Skip came up to the mic. Cass and Zach had asked him to share a message which he did from Romans. It was a short message but packed with so much.

After the regular wedding stuff like the vows, exchanging of the rings, signing the register, pronouncing them husband and wife and that first married kiss, the service part was complete. The drizzle now turned to a little harder drizzle. I personally was wondering how in the world were we going to have a reception outdoors if this was going to keep up, however, we had a lot of praying people there praying for a break in the weather, and that's just what happened.

As the bridal party and a few others scrambled around to set up for the reception, the families were getting family photos done. In the end, the rain had stopped and the reception area looked absolutely beautiful. The vision that Zach and Cass had came together and then some.

(As I had mentioned earlier, Zach and Cass made the head tables - the two where the grooms people all sat, the two where the bridesmaids sat and their table.) It was so beautiful and at one point the clouds opened and the sun shone down on Zach and Cass.

Catering for a covid type wedding was a little bit of a challenge. You could not have your typical buffet as that would mean extra people on the property. You could not have people coming in to service food since buffets were not even allowed because that too meant more people on the property. There is a local restaurant here in Maple Ridge that managed to stay open during the whole pandemic with his take out/curbside menu. As a family, we had ordered from them a couple of time and on Easter and Fathers Day we decided to try their family feasts. The prices were great and the food was excellent. Mike at Big Feast gave two options for meals, one was a pasta dish and the other was a chicken/mashed potato dish. Each guest had preordered their meal. As the reception set up was happening, Mike dropped off these huge hot boxes with the food in them. I was a tad skeptical with just how warm these meals would be once they were finally going to be served to us but to my delight, they were hot! The quantity of food for each serving was perfect and if you had left overs, your container was a to go one, so you could take it home.

Cassidy's Grandma made their wedding cake and it was the most beautiful cake. The two roses on the top were from our garden. We had recently purchased two rose bushes to commemorate David's parents who had recently passed away. It was so cool when Cass came to ask if she could use two of the roses for the cake. It meant the world to David. In the middle section, her grandma Shona had put a few more roses and some tiny little lights. It was truly very beautiful! She has such a gift for decorating.

Along with the cake for the dessert, any one who really knows Zach, knows that this boy LOVES his cinnamon buns. Now there is a place in Vancouver called Grounds for coffee which Zach was introduced to by the wedding pastor and his family. This place has absolutely the best cinnamon buns. For the wedding, they had ordered one cinnamon bun for each person which came individually wrapped in a little to go box.

I'm not one much for listening to a lot of speeches however the ones shared at Zach and Cass's wedding were heartfelt and meaningful. The one that got the best laugh was ours. I told David that I would be more than happy to write our parent speech however he had to deliver it. Cassidy kept telling David it needed to have a few good Dad jokes in it. David got up to the mic and opened his speech and he began reading as it flapped in the breeze. He had stapled about 5 extra pages to his speech and rolled it up like a scroll.

The sun was setting and the wedding was winding down. It was hard to believe that 5 hours had passed. The bride shared a dance with her dad which was followed by a first dance by the newlyweds.

The couple had put together a small video called a Second a day since the day they got engaged. They invited the group to come watch the video before they were to drive away.

With that the couple drove off in the Westi, into the sunset.

Cassidy and Zachariah, I will end with the blessing that was in our speech to you both.

May you always have plenty and never lack

May you both always have each other’s back

May you always be healthy and rarely ill

May you, in each other, feel loved and fulfilled

May your lives be long and full of grace

May you always seek the Lord’s face

May both your hearts and your home be warm

May peace and joy always be your norm.

We wish you Zach and your new bride Cassidy all the love and happiness in the world.

A HUGE thank you to Tory Matthys from Tori Spencer Photo for capturing this special day in photos. Thank you to Sheila and Greg for throwing an awesome wedding for your daughter. You were so hands on, with your family getting everything set up and looking so beautifully. Sheila, your Mom Shona did such a beautiful job with the flowers and the cake and your Dad "Skip" did a wonderful job with the message. Also a huge thanks to Grandma Whistler for making masks for everyone at the wedding and for making sure that Zach's Oma Winkel got to the wedding and home again. To the whole bridal party a huge THANK YOU - Zach and Cass could not have a better friend group than they have with you. Each and every one of you stepped up to the plate, moving those heavy tables, setting up for the reception and just taking care of the couple on their special day! And last but not least a very big thank you to Arnie and Janet. Without you this beautiful space would not have been possible.

The Courtship of Zachariah and Cassidy (Part 1)

Now most of you who know me in real life will know that my son Zachariah recently got married to his first love, Cassidy. Zach had vowed to himself that if he was going to spend as much as he was on tuition for university, he was going to use him time wisely. He had plenty of time to meet someone after he was done with his studies. God had different plans for him though.

Back in the summer of I think it was 2018, Zach was working at Camp Kawkawa. He had put his other job with the Township of Langley on hold for the summer. Mid way through the summer he learned that the Township needed a bus driver for one of their summer kids programs, so this go getter of a son of mine decided he could get his bus drivers license and do the job. And that he did. It was at this time he met this cute girl named Cassidy. University started up again and Zach was back at his after school care job. I recall as Christmas came around he was telling me that he was going to be changing schools because the other supervisor at the other school thought it would be best for her program to have a guy working at it. And so the story began!

Even though they had met during their summer programs, the two of them were now working on a daily basis together. It was quickly discovered that they both attended Trinity Western University but probably would not have come across each other on campus as they were in two completely different programs and their paths would not have crossed.

Valentines 2019 I get this facetime call from Zach asking me about vases. Which would I think would hold flowers better. I sort of wondered who it was that he was buying flowers for but I didn't want to ask too many questions.

In March 2019 we learned that Zach and Cass were dating. It was now time for us to meet this woman that had captured his heart before he was even finished school. We met up for dinner with the at the Spaghetti Factory in Langley. They beamed! The smile on Zach's face was like I had never seen it before. I knew he was in love.

Zach and Cass both graduated from TWU in April, however Zach still had one more year in order to complete his education degree as well. In May Zach took off on a missions trip to Africa and missed his loves birthday, however he really didn't miss it as she was well supplied with gifts and special events that Zach had pre-set up. Mr Romantic!! While in Africa he would hike all the way out to the water tower, climb up it to get cell service so he could text Cassidy.

In June the two of them continued working together for the Township as well as through the whole summer. Those two were inseparable. I recall close to the end of the summer one evening it was just Zach and I that were home and he decided to tell me that he was in love and that he knew Cass was the one. My heart was warmed!

Fast forward to October. Zach had already asked Cassidy's Dad for her hand in marriage which her parents both gave him their blessing. Cass's Dad had a friend in jewelry business so that's where Zach went to get that special ring. Now he just needed to wait for it to be made.

October 10th I was sitting at home doing my bible study when I got a call from Zach asking me what I was up to. I told him I was doing my study and that a little later I would be headed to Horseshoe Bay to get Naomi from the Ferry. He told me he got the ring and now was the time for the proposal. He needed my help. What a wild goose chase I was put on. First I had to call about some special long range lens for his photographer. I tried and tried to no avail but as I drove to the ferry he called me and I was to pick it up in Abbotsford before 5 p.m. I picked Naomi up by 3 and there I was smack dab in the middle of rush hour traffic trying to get to Abbotsford with a stop in Port Coquitlam for roses. We got to Abbotsford, got the lens and now it was time to drop it all off to Zach. Naomi and I arrived at the school where he was working so we texted him to tell him we were there only to be told to disappear because Cassidy was there. We drove to a safe zone and waited for him to let us know the coast was clear. We dropped off the lens and the flowers and got to see the beautiful ring.

The next day was the proposal day. It was also thanksgiving weekend and I was working the advanced polls for the election. I knew the proposal was going to take place on the dyke in Maple Ridge as both Zach and Cassidy loved the mountains that were in the background. This was also a significant spot for Zach as this is where him and my Dad used to walk. Zach recruited the help of a couple of his TWU buddies. As he and Cass where to walk the dyke, they were to set up a pathway of tea lights ending at a heart shape of purple roses. Cass's parents were in on it as well and had brought their VW Westie out, decorated it with photos that Zach had provided. Over the past months Zach had been putting together a scavenger hunt for Cassidy with puzzle pieces he had made. Today was when she would find the last piece.

A few photos from the engagement

I was sitting on pins and needles all day wondering if it had happened yet. Finally the two of them showed up at my polling station and I was able to congratulate them.

Wedding plans were underway! The date of June 26th 2020 was selected. They had a lot of very cool ideas that would require a lot of work but since they had the time, they knew they could do it...and then COVID 19 hit!

He is my hero! #11

This is my Dad, Gerard Winkel. I met him about 58 1/2 years ago when I was first born to him and my mom. (No that's not my Mom in this picture, that's my Oma Romeyn at my wedding some 23 1/2 years ago).

My Dad was my hero. He was such a godly man. On the evening of July 15, 2006 we got a phone call that my Dad had passed away into the arms of Jesus. A place where he longed to be, a place that we all hope to go to. David and I dropped our kids off at my friend Ingrid's place where they spent the night so that we could go and spend time with my Mom and sisters.

I am so thankful that my kids were able to meet my Dad and spend time making memories with him. Zachariah was born on my Dad's 62nd birthday. I called my Dad in the wee hours of the morning (Zach was born at 3:27 a.m.) to tell him that I had a present for him....a grandson.

Zach and my dad were inseparable. Even though we lived in Houston, we often got down to visit my family and if we were not visiting, we were on the phone with them. Zach and Opa could talk and talk and talk. Zach would wander around the house yapping and yapping, telling Opa this story and that and Opa would yap right back at him and then two of them were conversing. It was priceless. When I was expecting our twins I had gone into early labour and was medevacked to Vancouver. David ended up bringing Zach down to my parents for them to look after him. Zach and Opa just became even better buddies. Opa was a huge influence on Zach and often the two of them would be found together having their "Jesus talks." As I would sit inside the house with the babies, looking out on these two having lunch, I would hear the odd "Pwaise de word" (Praise the Lord)

Opa would have been so pleased with Zach when he picked Cassidy to be his wife. I'm sure he was watching down from heaven during the celebrations.

In June 1999 my Dad became the very proud Opa to two little girls. Rebekah Joy and Naomi Marie are the first and only grand daughters of my parents. Right from the get go, Rebekah took a shining to Oma and Naomi took a shining to Opa. Opa's nick name for Naomi was Opa's little woman. Naomi could do nothing wrong in Opa's eyes. When he and my Mom would stay for dinner, I would make meatloaf, mashed potatoes and green beans. My dad made what he called a "prukje" (everything mashed together with ketchup) to help Naomi eat. He would let her eat on her own but once he was done eating he would help her out...one bite for Naomi, two bites for Opa. It was amazing how quick she finished her dinner.

As the girls got older, Rebekah grew closer to Opa as well. She loved when Opa would come over and they would play games while listening to Disney tunes. We have one little video of the kids and Opa "dancing" to one of the songs from Jungle Book. They were all elephants following each other blowing their trunk trumpets. I am so thrilled we have those videos with my Dad in them, that we can look back on so that we don't forget those special moments.

Opa and his little elephants

When my dad passed Zach was 8 and my girls had just turned 7. That means they had 7 and 8 years of memories to cherish. I thought that as time passed it would get easier without my Dad however as my children reach mile stones I realized all the things he was missing out on. My Dad did not get to see my kids all graduate with honors from high school. My Dad did not get to see Zach find his sweetheart. I know Zach really wanted my Dad to know he had met the right one.

Hey Dad....you are missed, very missed and there is never a day in these 14 years that you have not been on my mind. I love you!

A love story... #10

Way back in February 2001 I was asked to write a little piece for our church newsletter about our family. I thought it would be cool to share this piece here in my blog.
David and I met each other when we were both at that point in life when we were not sure if we were every going to find that someone right. We were in our mid 30's when we first found each other. Our love story was not your typical love story. Back in the spring of 1995 I brought home the Christian Newspaper that was provided at church. Going through the paper I came across an ad which was advertising this type of "hook up" magazine called One to Another. In this people could place ads in hopes of meeting someone. I wrote away requesting the free sample copy they were offering. I had forgotten about it until one day when it arrived in the mail.

I went through the magazine looking at the ads placed by prospective males, not sure what to look for. I did not want to move away to another province so I concentrated on the ones that were in B.C. One that caught my eye was M38. It was a 33 year old male who lived somewhere in BC, he liked kids and was into sports. I looked through the other ads, however I kept coming back to this one so I decided to write. I had no idea what to write him. My Dad, who had over time observed me struggling with this reminded me that I needed to take things like this to God in prayer. Instead I decided to write God a letter. In my letter to God I told him what I was looking for in a man. He had to be blonde hair, blue eyes, over 6 feet tall. He had to be a grounded Christian, it was a bonus if he was from the Christian Reformed Church. He needed to be Dutch and most of all he had to love kids because I still wanted a family.

I wrote my letter to this M38, telling him all about me and I included a recent photo as well. I mailed it and the wait was on. The summer had passed. I was on a trip to Disneyland with my sister Angela, when we called my Dad for his birthday on September 20. It was at this time my Dad informed me that there was mail for me....in a red envelope. I could not wait to get home.

Upon arriving home, I took the letter and went into my room to read it. A small black and white photo fell out as I unfolded the letter. In the letter David introduced himself to me. What he wrote was almost exactly to what my letter to God said. He was a 6'1" blonde hair, blue eyed Dutchy from a CRC home. And the bonus was that he loved kids, in fact he was a grade 5/6 teacher at the Houston Christian School in northern BC. We played telephone tag for a few weeks but finally hooked up mid October. We would talk for hours on end with him often falling asleep after a busy day teaching.

We decided I would fly up to meet him in the beginning of December. His good friends Bert and Anna were kind enough to put me up for the weekend. I flew in on Thursday December 7th. David had warned me that he may be a few minutes late as he had to drive from Houston to Smithers to pick me up. I arrived and he was no where to be seen, but then suddenly there he was, the man I right then and there knew I was going to marry, coming to get me. After getting my luggage, he took me to dinner. I needed to give my parents a quick call to tell them that I had arrived safely and David wanted to talk with my dad. I'll never forget him telling my Dad that he promised to keep me safe.

On our drive back to Houston David informed me that I was the moose watcher. Apparently in the winter time there was an abundance of moose there that would trek over the roads to lick the salt. I could not believe how starry the sky was that night. Never in my life had I ever seen stars like that. It was unreal.

Our weekend went well. I was introduced to David's class on Friday morning. He had shown me the night before how I was to walk from Bert and Anna's house to the school. For me living in the lower mainland I had not ever experienced really cold weather. In the mornings I would get up for work, wash my hair and take off for work. Little did I know that you are not to leave the house with wet hair in such extreme cold weather. After sliding down a hill on my butt because I lost my footing, I arrived at the school and my hair was frozen stiff. The school secretary, Jean, told me not to touch my hair at all until it defrosted otherwise it would just break off.

On the Saturday night David had planned to take me to a neighbouring town, Telkwa where this young adult group he belonged to was having their Christmas dinner. We drove together with a couple of other people because David's car was not really running well. After dinner, on our way back to Houston someone in our car was not moose watching. There in the middle of the highway was this HUGE moose. The driver of our car swerved but instead of staying on the road, we ended up going down an embankment backwards. No one was hurt but now we had to get out of this car that was stuck in this huge pile of snow. Not for the life of me could I get up that embankment. It was one foot up 3 feet down. At one point they made a human chain and pulled me out of this embankment. I had had enough in the way of adventures for the weekend...or so I thought. On Sunday, the day I was suppose to fly home again, it began to snow and it snowed and snowed. My flight was cancelled and gosh darn, I had to spend yet another day in Houston. I think God was giving me a little taste of what it was going to be like if I was going to live there in Houston.

I had invited David to come spend Christmas with my family and he was more than happy to accept my invitation. David left Houston after school on the 22nd, made it to Prince George and finally arrived at my place on the 23rd. He celebrated Christmas with us and it was awesome. On the evening of December 28 we had taken a nice walk along the board walk of the Lonsdale Quay. David held my hand as we walked. There were so many opportunities for him to kiss me but he didn't. I have to say I was a little disappointed. Finally back at home I got that kiss I so badly wanted.

David wanted to be back in Houston for New Years as the young adult group he attended was doing something special together. His plan was to leave Friday the 29th at some point so he could leisurely drive back. I was sad because I really did not want him to leave. We walked hand in hand to his car and all the while I was praying, "Lord please don't let his car start! Really Lord, I'm not ready to have him go yet!" David gets into his car and it's dead....deader than anything. It would not even click over. Lucky for him I had BCAA so we were able to get his car towed over to a garage and gosh darn, they were not going to be able to get to his car until January 2. YES LORD!!!

In February David hypothetically asked me what I would say if he was to ask me to marry him. And in April on his birthday he went ahead and asked. Later that year in the summer, he and I flew to Ontario to meet his family and get their approval. We were married December 28, 1996 (exactly one year to the day of our first kiss) and that afternoon/evening/night the lower mainland experience the snowstorm of the century.

On a side note, Zach was born on September 20 which was just 2 years after I received my first letter from David and it was also my Dad's 62nd birthday! (Yes he was born less than 9 months after we were married however he was 3 weeks early - our honeymoon baby)

In God we are fully known and deeply loved #9

Sorry about the font sizes. I tried to make it all the same but for some reason......

"To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us." Timothy Keller

A little girl once prayed, Dear God, I bet it's very hard for You to love everybody in the whole world. There are only 4 people in my family, and I can never do it? God's greatest love for you is a love without conditions. He loves you not for being good, clever or pretty or for going to church. He loves you just for being you.

My Mom was sharing a memory with me the other day. As a child I recall one day going out with my Dad for a drive to downtown Vancouver because there was a girl there that wanted help getting away from the cult and drugs. I remember driving home and almost every block we had to stop so she could throw up. That's how strong the drugs were. My Dad shared with her on our way home all about the Lord and how much He loved and cared for her. When we got her into the house, she basically had nothing, even no clothes. She really wanted to take a bath however we could not leave her alone in the bathroom. My Mom stayed with her, helping her wash her hair. After bathing she said it was like washing away her old self. Susie was with us for a few days, learning about how deeply loved she was by God, however her addictions were still very strong and she left our home. The Lord loved her deeply but it was hard for her to accept His deep love for her.

I want you to know that Jesus loves you, Child of God, He fully knows you! He knows every single flaw and yet He still desires a relationship with you. The maker knows His creation. Through His death on the cross Jesus offers to you and me a relationship with Him in which we are fully known, fully loved, and fully accepted. Not because we are not flawed, but because Jesus wasn't and He has covered us and provided the perfection we need.

God is still working in me. Not everything, but so much more than all I could have imagined before. My deepest desire is to be fully known, fully loved and fully accepted...and yet I know that I already am. Jesus knows every single thing about me, and he still loves all of me and I am fully accepted though His blood.

Come, let’s shout joyfully to the LORD, shout triumphantly to the rock of our salvation! Let’s enter his presence with thanksgiving; let’s shout triumphantly to him in song. For the LORD is a great God, a great King above all gods. The depths of the earth are in his hand, and the mountain peaks are his. The sea is his; he made it. His hands formed the dry land. Come, let’s worship and bow down; let’s kneel before the LORD our Maker. For he is our God, and we are the people of his pasture, the sheep under his care. Today, if you hear his voice: Do not harden your hearts as at Meribah, as on that day at Massah in the wilderness where your ancestors tested me; they tried me, though they had seen what I did. For forty years I was disgusted with that generation; I said, “They are a people whose hearts go astray; they do not know my ways.” So I swore in my anger, “They will not enter my rest.” Psalm 95

Fully Known & Deeply Loved Verse 1 Even in my weakness I am not alone That's when You're the strongest That's when You bring hope I'm not a disappointment Even when I fall Your grace for me is constant You've seen me through it all Chorus There's one thing I'm certain of I'm fully known and deeply loved I'm no slave to what I've done I'm fully known and deeply loved Verse 2 Your light chased down my darkness My hiding was in vain But You never called me hopeless You called me by my name You have called me Righteous I can't outrun Your grace The blood that runs through Christ is Running through my veins Bridge As I am I am enough Nothing to prove Or to become I am found I'm found in Your love Forever I'll sing Of all that You've done

Abiding #8

John 15:4-10 ESV Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples. As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love.

Abiding in the vine is more than just going to church and hearing a sermon preached once a week. True abiding means seeking an intimate personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Just like any relationship, it takes work. The more intimate the relationship, the more work it requires. Jesus Christ gave His very life for us. All He asks of most of us is to be fully surrendered to His will and to walk in fellowship with Him.

In my last blog post I spoke of the spiritual gifts. If we are going to produce spiritual fruit in our lives, we must be in constant fellowship with our Lord Jesus Christ. We cannot do what God has called us to do apart from Him. The word abide means to STAY (in a given place). Abiding is crucial to experiencing a fruitful and abundant Christian life. We cannot experience the fullness of God’s blessings if we do not walk with Him.

My parents knew the meaning of abiding in Him. They knew we can do nothing apart from Christ and the Christian who tries to live in their own strength will not produce fruit and will eventually whither up and die spiritually. This was something we as their children also learned from a very young age.

Growing up my parents had a ministry to young adults. They had a heart for those that were seeking out who Christ was and how they could live a life in Him. Already back from early childhood, I observed my parents and how the love they had for Jesus was so evident. My parents had friends who lived on the other side of town and along with them we participated in bible studies that were attended by a lot of young adults.

Now to provide a little history, in Vancouver there were two cults - The Children of god and The Jesus People Army. The Children of god was founded in California during a time of hippies and sexual liberation. Female members of the COG were expected to lure in men by having sex with them. Children were sexualized and sometimes sexually abused at an early age. Thousands of members worked like slaves raising money to support the shadowy sex-driven lifestyle of the group's leader. You have to totally submit yourself to your leader, to the person in charge. No matter what they ask you, you have to obey and being single, you were asked to go out flirty-fishing. That means going into a bar or restaurant or hotel and meeting some people to ask for the mercy of Jesus in their heart in exchange for a donation. I'm sure you get the picture. The JPA was very similar to the COG. These cults had houses in the downtown Vancouver are and this is where you'd find these young adults. As well in both these cults there were drugs involved.

(Small disclaimer here - these are stories as I recall them as a child. They may not be 100% factual but they are pretty close.) The friends of my parents, Ron and Shirley, along with others I'm sure, first started a bible study in the home of R & S. From there they went on to running a coffee house in a large warehouse type of building right at the foot of the underpass in Port Coquitlam. From time to time, my Dad would head downtown and bring home strangers. These strangers that came were often on drugs, and although they knew the scriptures somewhat it was often a distorted version. My Mom and Dad, as well as others would spend hours on end ministering to these young people. I later learned what they were actually doing was deprogramming them, getting them off their drug of choice. They would envelop these young people as they were attacked by the enemy - the drugs they were on and this distorted form of religion they knew. This was not an overnight fix for my parents. These young people would be prayed over for hours, scriptures would be read to them, songs would be sung to them. The transformation was unreal, sometimes like a butterfly emerging from their cocoon. I will never in my life forget Bryan or Richard. We were like their little sisters.

All the while, my Dad still worked a regular job and my Mom was caring for us and now all these others. I recall on more than one occasion, my Dad would come home from work and my Mom would pull him aside, showing him what little we had left in the fridge or cupboards. There was not even enough for them to feed us, their own children. These young people would be sitting around waiting for dinner as well. The door bell would ring. Was it Ron or Shirley bringing over someone else? Who could it be? No one was there, but what was there was bags and bags of groceries. My Mom would call over everyone to help carry them all to the kitchen. There was more than enough for all of us.

My parents demonstrated to us kids what it meant to ABIDE IN HIM. Their constant faith and dependence on Him for all they had and did. They took that step in faith when they adventured out in this ministry to young adults. My parents experienced the fullness of Gods blessing on their lives.

I have much more where this came from and maybe one day soon I'll share a little more.

Wisdom I gain growing older!